Thanks a Lot, Everything..

That awkward moment when you tell yourself to step up your game and you realize you’re already at the top of it. And there is nowhere to go from there other than facing your own stupidity.

Oh also? ALSO? I have a short story deadline. Got 7th in this international (I always use that qualifier) competition back in the summer and now the bitches (ie some guy named Ken. KEN ffs..) keep emailing me (I figure they email all winners personally, 1-10) and remind me that this huge story competition is now underway and won’t I please enter it? And in a moment of pure exhaustion end up emailing him back with a succinct “bitch, please. I am on my last leg this week and going, no fuck the niceties, DRIVING, to Chicago friday afternoon. When am i supposed to write the damn thing? During a pee-and-stuff at a random Wendy’s?” which is exactly what I will probably end up doing because, hello, three grand.

GREAT. NOW I WANT WENDYS.

Thanks a lot, everything..

… Ok so i am paraphrasing the email.. it was more like “I really appreciate the consideration but i am etc..”

And i’ll probably just end up pulling a wine-and-redbull-allnighter because THIS IS THE DREAM. And slowly it’s happening.

If i were a smart person (see above) I’d take the easy route and write a blog about how angry the world makes me a la Peter Griffin’s “Ya know what really grinds my gears?”. And get a book deal out of it. But nah… I have to be an idiot and take the classical “Enter competitions until I have enough wins under my belt to land a decent agent” nonsense.

There are a number of writers I have to thank *blame* for this approach..

But in all seriousness (just for a second..) the latter approach is the way to do it. Because it’s all about the quality of the agent. Quality agents, by and large, still adhere to the classical methodology of wanting to see industry-recognized results BEFORE they sign a writer. A blog is not a result. A blog is more like a means to an end. A win is a result.

Damn man I am getting too old for this crap…

So to sum up: You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that this entire time i was bitching to you, my 2 followers, i could have been writing…. See? STUPID.

Excuse me..

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